Take Me Away
by ocasille
Summary: Jacob isn't content to wait until her heart stops beating, so he cuts all tie and tries to move on.


**AN: I don't own Twilight. I also don't own the first bit in italics, it's taken**** directly from Eclipse, except for the few sentences not in italics which I wrote.**_**  
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><p><em><strong>Jacob,<strong>_

_**I'm breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didn't want you to feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the choice.**_  
><em><strong>I promise I will take good care of her, Jacob. Thank you - for her - for everything.<strong>_

_**Edward**_

_"Jake, we only have the one table," Billy said. He was staring at my left hand. My fingers were clamped down on the wood hard enough that it really was in danger. I loosened them one by one, concentrating on that action alone, and then clenched my hands together so I couldn't break anything._

I had known this was coming, but that didn't dull the pain. At least before I could delude myself into thinking she might still choose me.

Not anymore, I thought, throwing the invitation and Edward's note aside. I couldn't believe she was really going through with this.

_"Yeah, doesn't matter anyway," Billy muttered._

_I got up from the table, shrugging out of my t-shirt as I stood. Hopefully Leah had gone home by now._

_"Not too late," Billy mumbled as I punched the front door out of my way._

_I was running before I hit the trees, my clothes strewn out behind me like a trail of crumbs.._

_I had four legs now, and I was flying._

_The trees blurred into a sea of black flowing around me. My muscles bunched and released in an effortless rhythm. I could run like this for days and I would not be tired. Maybe, this time, I wouldn't stop._

_But I wasn't alone._

_**So sorry, **Embry whispered in my head._

_I could see through his eyes. He was far away, to the north, but he had wheeled around and was racing to join me. I growled and pushed myself faster._

_**Wait for us, **Quil complained. He was closer, just starting out from the village._

_**Leave me alone, **I snarled._

_I could feel their worry in my head, try hard as I might to drown it in the sound of the wind and the forest. This is what I hated most - seeing myself through their eyes, worse now that their eyes were full of pity. They saw the hate, but they kept running after me._

_A new voice sounded in my head._

_**Let him go,** Sam's thought was soft, but still an order. Embry and Quil slowed to a walk._

_Thanks,_ I muttered to Sam as Quil and Embry phased back.

_Come back soon, Jake,_ he answered before he too phased, leaving me alone to wallow in my misery.

_Haven't you heard misery loves company,_ Leah's thoughts sounded through my head.

_Well you would know,_ I shot back.

Miserable fucking bitch.

_Fuck you, Jacob,_

_You'd like to wouldn't you? You just can't leave me alone. You claim that you can't stand my thoughts, yet here you are, seeking them out. Maybe, you're just jealous cause they're not about you,_ I taunted.

_Cocky bastard, you think everyone wants you, when in reality nobody does. Bella for example would rather fuck a dead guy than you._

She was trying to hit me where it hurt and I didn't want to admit that she was getting to me.

_Leah, please, just leave me alone,_ I pleaded. Threats, I knew, wouldn't work with her.

_What, you're just gonna stay like this? So you don't have to feel the pain? You're such a pussy, no wonder the leech lover doesn't want you._

I growled and ran faster now, as if I could outrun her thoughts. Yeah, we should all be so lucky. If only it was that easy to get away from her bitter, suffocating thoughts. I hoped that if I just ignored her, she would get bored and go away. Hopefully there would be something better she had to do than torture me.

To my surprise, she did phase back, without another thought. Now it was just me, the trees, and the wind.

And so I ran and didn't look back.

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><p>I heard a hard rap at my front door and I rolled out of my bed. I picked my boxers up off the floor where they had recently been discarded and pulled them on. Who was knocking at my door this late? They were going to wake up Billy. I heard another sharp knock at the door. I swung the door open, ready to let whoever was at door have it. The words died on my lips as I saw Bella standing there, shivering, hand poised to pound on the door again.<p>

I hadn't talked to Bella in weeks, since I had got the invitation in the mail. She called and called, but I was stubbornly refusing to give in.

She looked kind of surprised to see me, like she hadn't expected me to answer and if I had known it was her I wouldn't have.

"What did you come to ask me to be your ring bearer?" I asked callously.

"Jake, I'm so sorry; I didn't know he was going to send you an invitation. I understand why you're mad, but I had nothing to do with it. So please don't shut me out. I wouldn't be able to bear it if-" she stopped talking abruptly, her eyes were trained behind me. I turned around to see Brittany coming out of my room, pulling her shirt over her head as she walked.

"I'm gonna go Jake, class in the morning."

She came over to me and pressed her lips to mine, her tongue darting out immediately, licking my bottom lip. I pushed her off of me; I didn't want to do this in front of Bella.

She scoffed at my rejection. "Asshole,"

She turned on her heel and walked out the door slamming it loudly.

Bella waited until Brittany was out the door to explode on me.

"Oh I see, too busy with your sluts to call me back?" Her eyes were narrowed into slits and her voice was venomous.

She had some fucking nerve.

"That's not really any of your concern, is it Bella?" My voice was level, I wasn't going to let her see how much her words affected me. I didn't want Bella to see me like that.

"Isn't it though? I don't see you for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden you're a different person? The Jacob I knew wouldn't be bringing random girls home." I didn't miss the past tense in her last sentence. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, I could sense that our friendship, or whatever the fuck it was that we had, was coming to a bitter end.

"What are you really mad about here, Bella? Because she had what you could have had? What you were too afraid, too fucking stubborn to take! Or were you just hoping that I would pine for you forever? Just so you could have your own sick claim on me, while I get _nothing_."

"No, Jake of - of course not.." she stuttered. She didn't know how to take this side of me, she didn't know what to do when I wasn't being her 'sun'. But I was done with giving her all I had and getting shit all in return. I was exhausted, drained. I had nothing left for her to take. "I just miss you.." she whispered, and a tear escaped the corner of her eye.

Fuck.

My anger fizzled out, seeing her cry, but I was still standing my ground. I resisted the overwhelming urge to pull her into my arms and make her pain go away.

_No! She doesn't want you._ If she needs comforting she has a boyfriend - sorry _Fiancé_- for that.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I know, I miss you too, but you made your choice, remember? You can't have it both ways."

"Why not?" she shouted, suddenly angry again. "You're my best friend! Why does that have to change?"

I glared at her. Why was she so intent upon making this harder for both of us? "You know why, Bella."

"Enlighten me, Jacob." her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

She was forcing me to say it. Did she enjoy my pain? Did she get some sort of sick, twisted pleasure from it? "Because I'm in love with you! You fucking know that, Bella. I don't want to be just friends with you! I don't understand why you keep coming back here. Do you like knowing the power you have over me?" I was pissed again, she knew just the right buttons to push to get me going.

"I come back here because I want to see you, Jake! Because you never answer my calls anymore. My mistake, thinking we could actually be mature about this."

"Yeah, I guess it is your mistake."

She sighed, and I struggled to keep up with her mood swings. "Jake, you know I love you.."

"Yeah, yeah, just not enough. Didn't we already do this?"

She sighed again. "I guess we did. Is this it then? Are you - are you," she seemed to be struggling to find the right words. "Breaking up with me?"

I barked out a hollow laugh. That was the second time she'd asked me that question. So I repeated the last answer I gave her. "Hardly, if that was the case, I'd say 'let's stay friends'."

She laughed weakly. "This feels like Déjà vu. Does this mean you're gonna come crawling in to my window later tonight to apologize?"

My face was a hard mask. "I have nothing to apologize for."

"I know, Jake, I didn't mean it like that." she reached out for me and I took a step back. I could see the hurt on her face from that small gesture, but I couldn't risk it. One touch and I just knew my will would crumble. I'd be asking her to stay for dinner and making plans for next time, but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't watch the girl I was in love with marry another man, watch the girl I was in love with _die._

"Listen Bella, I love you and a part of me probably always will and I know I said I'd be here until your heart stopped beating, but I can't do it. I can't watch you blush, watch you trip over your own feet, knowing those things will never happen again. I can't listen to your heart beat, and wonder every time if that will be the last. And if I'm ever going to get over you, you can't keep calling me and coming over, it's too hard." I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I angrily swiped them away. God, Leah was right, I am a pussy.

Her tears were now spilling over unchecked. "I never wanted to hurt you, Jacob."

"I know,"

"I love you, I always will." I felt another piece of my heart breaking.

"I don't know, Bella, forever is a long time."

"Always," she repeated.

"I love you, Bella." I said it one last time.

"Bye Jacob," and she turned around and walked out of my life. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch in my life, but I couldn't avert my eyes, not if my life depended on it.


End file.
